The Beauty of Friendship: The Power of Kindness and Careing - June 21, 2011
Summery: A true story about myself overcoming my blindness and realizing that all one really needs in life is a good friend to be by your side. This short tail of friendship, love and laughter is one that I hope all readers can relate with and most of all, I hope that you realize the same thing I did; that all should have a friend that means the world to us. As well as the fact that being blind does not mean you can't be just like everyone else.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to my best friend and cousin Brandon Villarino, without whom this would not be possible.
Introduction.
Being visually impaired, I have encountered my share of kind and caring people. I have also encountered just as many people who were downright rude, staring as if I'm a person from another planet, and not just a person with a cane. As the title says, the power of kindness and caring are traits that people never fail to undervalue. I myself undervalued these traits until the actions of my cousin Brandon Villarino opened my eyes and made me think about such things. What follows is a tale of friendship, kindness and the age-old saying that you can never take anything for granted. I hope you enjoy the tale and hopefully you, like I, have a best friend that means as much to you as Brandon does to me.
Chapter 1: The years of ignorance.
I was born on July 15, 1990. My best friend and cousin was born on September 4, 1998. You might wonder how two people 8 years apart could end up as best friends, but that's life. Age doesn't matter if you truly care about a person and have a lot in common. At the time of his birth, I didn't think much of it. "Okay," I thought, "so I have another cousin." Little did I know that in 12 years he would be the subject of my book. And little did I know the kind of person he would become. When Brandon was around 7 years of age, he began to help and guide me whenever we were together. At the time, I didn't think anything of it, as a matter of fact it would sadly be 5 more years before I realized that what Brandon always does for me with regard to helping and explaining things to me is not something everyone does. The truly great thing I have since realized about Brandon is that whenever we are together, he treats me like any other person. If we play video games, he doesn't let me win because I'm blind. If we just talk, he doesn't treat me like I have a problem besides my blindness. He blends Guide and friend in a way that no one else has managed. So why did it take until I was 20 and he 12 to realize this about him? It was the week long vacation in Maryland I spent with him that opened my eyes, (no pun intended) and made me think and stop taking everything and everyone for granted.
Chapter 2: Opening the eyes.
The ignorance that blinded me would finally be lifted after the August 2010 vacation that my family and Brandon took. It was my dad who invited Brandon to come with us, and I will be forever grateful for that because I will never know if I would have come to the realizations I did. The vacation was fantastic, from the beach to the house. It was on the third day where things began to go down hill. I became sick with some type of flu and was stuck in bed for two days. As everyone got ready to head down for a nice day at the beach, leaving me up at the house, Brandon came into my room and said to me, "Do you want me to stay with you and keep you company? I don't mind." I was shocked. I couldn't believe he would willingly give up a day at the beach to stay with me and I told him as much. He said "I just don't want you to be alone all day." I told him to go down and enjoy the day. Somewhere in the back of my mind, it hit me that Brandon was the only one out of 7 family members to even brooch the subject of staying with me. The one night I was sick, I had planned to stay up and watch the Yankees play. I just didn't feel well enough so I told Brandon I was going to bed. He helped me to bed, tucked me in and gave me my laptop so I could hear the game. I remember thanking him and I asked him why he was doing this for me. He said simply, "because I can and I want to." It was at this moment where I began to contemplate all the other times Brandon helped me, and I realized with a thrill of sadness that never once did I let him know how thankful I am for his friendship and help, not once. I just took him for granted. I vowed from that moment forward to never do that again and I vowed to let him know just how much I cared in return.
Chapter 3: Letters of gratitude.
Sticking to my vow, I bought Brandon a couple of gifts from the Harry Potter park in Florida for his birthday. The following letter is something I wrote for his birthday letting him know just how much I cared. I had the letter in Braille and print on the same page, I thought it would be nice.
Brandon, let me start by saying happy 12th birthday. I couldn't think of what to get you, and I thought that I would write a little letter. I think that a letter for a gift can be the best gift over anything that can be bought, because thoughts are priceless. As I sit here and write this, I can honestly say that you are the best friend I could ever have. There are a number of reasons why I say this and the least important one is that your my cousin. One of the biggest reasons is your personality and the many Traits you have that go overlooked by so many in today's world. Your willingness to help and guide me when ever I need it, is something that I will never forget. Many people who see me with a cane stare as if I have something wrong with me besides my blindness. You on the other hand, from the moment you were old enough to understand never failed to see if I needed help with anything. Out of all the cousins, it was you who would remember me and help me get somewhere. Everyone else just forgot and left me where ever I was sitting. Another thing that you are so good at when you talk to me is forgetting that I am blind. No matter what we may be doing, playing video games, swimming or just talking, you treat me like any other person, and that's something that not many people do. There are a select few who I would trust with my safety when it comes to guiding me and helping me, you are one of those few, and most importantly, I can tell you don't do it because you feel sorry, but because you want to help. When you get right down to it, it's your selflessness and kindness that makes you a true friend in my eyes. On a less deeper level, your very easy to get along with and very fun to hang out with. I thought of this letter after our vacation in Maryland. While there, it really hit me just how special a person you really are. If anyone ever tells you that you are unimportant, you need only look at this letter to remind yourself that you have an ability that few have... You Care.
Happy Birthday. I hope you like your gift, I think it is the best one I could give you.
When I told him about a couple of Christmas gifts I bought him he said, "wow, it's like you're paying me for being so nice to you for so long." The following letter is my response to his statement.
What makes a best friend? A question that has a simple answer for me. A best friend to me is not the person with lots of money or fame, those things are not what I look for in a person. For me, a best friend is someone who is always there for me, always wanting to help and guide me, always thinking of my safety and well-being, and last but not least, always caring and loving me for who I am, and not for my disability. Those values coupled with a kind heart and great personality, makes you the best friend I could have ever hoped to have. Yes there were friends who were great to me, but as soon as you were old enough to understand about my disability, you helped me and looked out for me. I must admit that when I was younger, I didn't think much of what you always did for me. I have since realized that your friendship is something that I can't take for granted. You have know idea how many people twice your age stare at me like they never saw a blind person before. You said to me a couple of months ago that it's like I'm paying you for being so nice to me for so long. Well, you couldn't be more right. Very few people I've met have the heart you do Brandon, and that alone makes you a very special person. A man at the college ran into me and told me to watch where I was going. This guy was about 3 times your age. I told him that he was the one who needed to watch out and I said my 12 year old cousin has more respect than you do. He didn't say a word and walked away. When you told me about that kid making fun of you for trying to return someone's jacket, it only made my point stronger. Always remember, your greatest weapon is not your fists, but your kindness. I give you gifts because it's the only way I can show how thankful I am for having such a person in my life. If you learn anything from this letter Brandon, know this: You are a special person just for being you and don't let anyone tell you different. Those values of a best friend I mentioned above will take you far in life and I know you will continue to make those who love you proud. You are, and will forever be my best friend. I love you, Manny.
Chapter 4: Never Give Up.
If there is one thing I hope readers take from this short tale, it's that you should never give up and stop fighting. Know matter the obstacle that faces you. If I, a person who the doctors said would never see, can grow up and be just like my family and friends in some respects, than anything is possible for anyone. Remember that. I once asked Brandon if he could do one thing in life, what would it be? He replied, "I would give you an operation for your eyes." If there is one thing that I've learned in writing this short book, it's that the world is a better place because of people just like Brandon Villarino.15
Part 2: Lasting Memories
Introduction
Memories are very interesting. Some can be bad, others sad but the ones I will share in the following Chapters are first and foremost funny. Laughter is important in life and I hope these memories that follow will get a laugh out of even the most serious of persons. So sit back, relax, and lets start the trip down memory lane.
Chapter 1: Bite me!
One of my earliest memories of Brandon is unfortunately not a good one for me, and one that Brandon doesn't even remember. It was back in early 1999, Brandon was no older than 1. I was holding him and trying to get him to go to sleep. Me not being such a good singer, I didn't dare try and sing him to sleep, I knew he wouldn't like my voice. So I just rocked him to sleep. Just when I thought he was out, he bit me really hard on the arm! I guess I didn't see that coming. It didn't feel good let me tell you. Ironically, Brandon's sister Bianca bit me on the same arm two years prier. I guess they both just liked my skin. Both deny doing this to this day. But as I pointed out to them, They wouldn't remember it being so young.
Chapter 2: Splash away!
This next memory happened about 12 years after the bite. It took place during our vacation in Maryland. Brandon, my sister's husband Jason and I were down at the beach. Jason wanted to go for his usual run so he told Brandon and I not to go in the ocean alone. Well, it got really hot! It was around 96 degrees and it was only 10 AM. Brandon got the idea to sit in my sister's babies pool that we had set up for him. I agreed because it was so hot. So here we were, sitting in a baby pool and splashing each other like we were 5 years old and not 12 and 20. Every one was staring at us but we didn't care. It was one of the best memories from that vacation.
Chapter 3: To peek Or not to peek
This next one happened in Maryland as well. We had just got back from a day at the beach and were in need of a shower. Brandon took his, but forgot to get his clothes which were next to me on the couch in the living room. He comes out of the bathroom and says to me, "don't look!." Now I found this really funny. I said "first of all, I can't see much anyway, and second, it's not like you don't have any body part I don't!" I guess he forgot that I'm visually impaired as well as the same sex. I couldn't stop laughing for 15 minutes.
Chapter 4: Hide and go seek: blind man's version
This next memory takes place during Christmas day of 2010. Brandon, my other cousin Ray and I decided to play a game of hide and seek. Now to help me out, we decided to pick one room to hide in. The only problem was that the bedroom was huge and had a closet and bathroom attached that was almost as big as the room! Not so easy. I was it first. I may not be able to see good, but I have great hearing! The problem I had now was that every time I found Brandon, instead of giving up he ran and hid in a new spot. The cheater! I came up with a plan and the next time I found him I wrestled him to the ground and hung on. I told my other cousin to come out of hiding or else I wouldn't let him go. My idea would have worked if Brandon didn't pull the "you're hurting me!" trick. Me being the nice guy I am fell for it and sure enough, Brandon ran off again. The one thing I've learned for the next time we play is to make sure we set the rules before the game.
Chapter 5: A very different kind of war
Their comes a time in a day where you are board to death. I'm sure everyone can relate. Brandon and I were as board as you can be on that Christmas day of 2010. We got tired of hide and seek by this time. Brandon said "why don't we play thumb war?" I said "sure, but I have to play with my right hand because I suck with my left." Little did I know that what Brandon would say next and what I would follow up with would keep us entertained for a lot longer than a game of thumb war would. We get ready to play and Brandon says, "5 6 7 8 I use this hand to masturbate!" Now obviously that isn't how the saying goes but Brandon loves a good joke, as do I, but what I came up with next was the best comeback of all time. "OH! you use your right hand too? Wow! We have something in common!" Needless to say, the game of thumb war was forgotten as we laughed our heads off.
Chapter 6: The argument that ended in dreams
On one Friday in May of 2010, Brandon was sleeping over my place because his mom was spending the night in New York. My living room has two couches, one bigger than the other. Me being the bigger person, I would get the bigger couch. Makes sense right? Wrong! When we finally decided to go to sleep around 2AM, (we were up playing video games). Brandon didn't want to go to his couch! He says "we can sleep together, there's no harm in that." I agreed but felt I had to point out that the couch wasn't exactly fit for two. Well, we both were tired and I didn't want to argue anymore. I never thought I'd fall asleep, but I guess I did. Looking back, I must admit that it was rather nice, you see, my living room was freezing and Brandon made a perfect human teddy bear!
Chapter 7: A wedding is the perfect time for dance lessons
On September 24, 2010, my sister had a wonderful wedding. At one point Brandon says to me "come on! Lets dance!" I told him "I suck at dancing!" To this day, I still don't know how he convinced me to go with him. So here we were, in the middle of the dance floor, with Brandon trying... and failing to teach me how to dance! I think we did more laughing than dancing. As I reflected later, I think the blisters on my feet had less to do with the shoes, and everything to do with Brandon stepping on my feet!
Chapter 8: Lost for words
I told you at the beginning that the memories would make you laugh, well I've saved the best for last but it might make you cry instead. I don't remember how the subject came up, but I asked Brandon, "If there is one thing you can do in this life, what would it be?" He said, "I would give you an operation for your eyes." There isn't a word in the english language I can use to relay to you how touched and grateful I was to Brandon at that moment. Feeling like I was going to cry, I reached out and gave him a hug, and as Brandon hugged me back, I knew in that moment we understood each other perfectly. Sometimes, a hug is the only way to say thanks. I hope everyone enjoyed the trip down memory lane and most importantly, I hope you got a laugh out of all these special memories. Every memory a person shares with another is special in its own right, but the best ones are those that you will never forget and will last a lifetime.
part 3: A Hug is Worth More Than Words
In many parts of the world and throughout all walks of life, the hug means something different. For me and my best friend (and cousin) Brandon Villarino, the hug means many things. I'll never forget the time we started the tradition of the hug. One night on vacation, I didn't feel good so I was heading off to bed early. Brandon came up to me, gave me a hug and said, "you know I love you right? feel better." I was taken aback, not by what he said, but by the hug. He had never just did that before. From that moment onwards, we would use the hug every time we would see each other, or for those moments when words simply failed us. One such moment took place on that vacation. One night Brandon asked me if I wanted to go with him for a walk down on the beach. I said sure. We walked for about five minutes and then we stopped. Brandon was looking at the sunset and ocean when he said, "Manny, I so wish you could see how nice this is." I put my arm around him and said, "honestly Brandon, I don't need to see it because just being able to share this moment with my best friend and getting a chance to spend this whole week with you is nice enough." He put his arm around me as well and we stood there for a good while just enjoying the moment. Then as if we read each others mind, we turned to each other and hugged. It is a mark of the strength of our friendship that know words were needed on that summers night in ocean city Maryland. Another time, I was sleeping over his house for a weekend. We hadn't seen each other in around two months. The moment he saw me he gave me the biggest hug I'd ever had in my life. I thought a couple of ribs surely had cracked. "I've missed you" were the first words out of his mouth. "Same here" I said before hugging him back just as hard. Our cousin Veronica said to Brandon, "where is my hug?" I must admit I feel a tad bit special because I'm one of the very few who gets a hug from Brandon. I guess he hands them out spairingly, like a dentist handing out candy as you walk out of the office. Now I look forward to his hugs almost as much as I look forward to seeing him. So next time you can't think of something to say and words fail you, just give a hug.
-Manuel Aguero