Stay Close to Me - June 6, 2011

I watched the perfect girl walk out of her car and slowly smile when she looked up. She took my breath away with every inch she took nearer to me. ‘How can a girl be so perfect girl’’ I always wondered to myself. She inched closer and closer until she was walked right past me into the arms of another boy. I looked down, feeling horrible. My breath got stuck in my throat as I stopped tears from pouring down my eyes and walked away, not looking back.
----
I watched my first love walk away, I felt horrible for doing that to him but what he did to me was much worse. He broke my heart and didn’t want to pick up the pieces before he left me, alone, standing in the pouring rain. Every day, every night, every moment of my day was given to him and he took it for granted. I hated who he had become. I wanted my old best friend, my old boyfriend back, not this monster that he had become.
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 I walked down the halls, not looking where I was going when suddenly a girl stood in front of me. I lost balance and fell on top of her on the school’s hallway floor. From the corner of my eye I saw Amber looking, and ignored her standing there. I looked down at the girl below me and realized who it was and instantly stood up. I brushed myself as I got up and offered her a hand, trying to be nice.
 “You me janitors closet at lunch” she said, as she smirked at me and walked off, leaving Amber open mouthed and me wishing she hadn’t said that.
 I watched Amber slowly walk up to me and slap me hard on the face and all I did was stand there and watch.
 “You jerk! And I actually thought that maybe, just maybe, you had started to change. I hate you Kyle, I hate you a hell lot.” She said, and walked off from my life, once again.
 I took a deep breath, again trying to stop the tears from running down my eyes, and started to walk to my next class. ‘If only she knew the truth’ I thought to myself. ‘If only she knew’
----
 I walked down the hall, tears in my eyes, but my head held up. I wasn’t going to let that jerk get to me again and again. But every time he hurt me I always ended up forgiving him. Why did I have to fall in love with him? Why him out of all the people. He changed in the few months we had been together. Day by day he grew distant and pushed me away. He never wanted to be together anymore and then I saw what was really happening while he was pushing me away. I found him in bed, with another girl, that same girl he fell on today, that same girl that ruined our relationship, who had ruined me. Every night I cried myself to sleep, trying to forget what he had done but failing every time. That was until James showed up. He filled the gaps that Kyle had left, he was there, and he became my best friend, the only person I could truly trust. I knew Kyle knew that James and I were together, even when we weren’t in the beginning but he asked me to be his girlfriend, and I said yes.
 I watched James approach me, wearing faded denim jeans with a half-sleeved shirt that showed off his muscles. He came and stood in front of me, slowly leaned down and pressed his lips against my forehead.
 “Morning gorgeous!” he mumbled against my forehead.
 “Hey!” I replied, too distant in thought.
 He pulled away to look at me and clearly knew that something was wrong. “What’s wrong babe?” he asked, putting his hand underneath my chin to lift it up and make me look at him. “And don’t lie” he told me.
 Tears built up in my eyes, without a hint of warning, a tear fell from my eye and fell on James hand. He looked down at his hand, looking at the tear, and then looking back up again. “Hey, are you okay?” he asked, alarmed.
 “I can’t do it anymore James!” I told him, not making any sense.
 “You can’t do what?” he asked, worried.
 “This, I can’t go day by day watching ‘him’ not realize how much he’s hurting me.” I said, tearing spilling out of my hazel nut eyes. “I’m leaving, this school and...” I started to say.
 “Me? You’re leaving me as well? Why Amber?” he asked, trying to be man enough to handle it but unsuccessful.
 “I’m sorry.” I whisper, and walked off, only having to get through the day.
----
 I watched her cry and knew without listening to her that I was the reason that she was crying. I watched her talk to James and he seemed to be crying to. Wanting to know what they were talking about I inched closer and the only words I heard were ‘anymore’ ‘him’ ‘hurting’ ‘leaving’. As soon as I heard the word leaving me ears shot up and I looked at them both as I saw her whisper ‘sorry’ to him and walk off. I followed her down the hallway, keeping a distance so she wouldn’t notice. She went out through an exit door and I waited a couple of seconds before I followed her out and saw her sitting on the bench right besides the door crying. As an instant reaction, I raced over to her and sat down, putting my left arm around her shoulder, comforting her. She slowly looked up, her eyes meeting mine and then they grew big and she immediately stood up, with rage.
 “What’s wrong?” I asked her, oblivious to what was about to come.
 “What’s wrong? What’s wrong?” she shouted at me. “Are you seriously asking me that after cheating on me with that whore?”
 “Amber please listen to me. Please one last time.” I pleaded in front of her. “You need to know what actually happened that night. Please”
 “You’ve got five minutes, explain it and then I’m going to walk out of your life for good, and you will do the same.” She said, trying to act confident, even though she knew I could see the real emotion.
 “I can’t promise that but I need to tell you.” I said, emotionally. “that morning, that you walked into my room to see...what you saw...I honestly had no idea what she was doing there. The last thing I remember was hearing that you were going to be breaking up with me, I was heartbroken. And Ashley came over that evening, and I broke in front of her, I started crying because I was sad, and then she comforted me and gave me some water to drink and after that I don’t remember what happened.” He said, looking into her hazel eyes, blinded by her beauty. “I never intended to hurt you, believe me when I say that, it was the last thing I could never dream of doing. You were my only love, and always will remain my only love.” I finished off.
 “Why do you do this to me? You had to tell me this now, I’m leaving in a couple hours and you’re telling me this now? Do you hate me or something?” amber said, as tears build up in her eyes, replacing the rage with sadness. “I don’t even know whether to believe you or not. The wound your hurt gave me is still there, and it can’t seem to be going away...” She looked away, as she trailed off.
 “Amber Carly Jackson, if you think I’m letting you leave, you are mistaken. You are not going anywhere. You’re not going to leave me, ever.” He said, emotionally.
----
 “Oh yeah, and who are you to stop me? Hmm! You left me, alone, and do you expect me to just welcome you back with open arms? I don’t think so.” I told him as I started to walk away. I felt my arm being pulled back, and tried to pull it back, knowing that with his grip I wouldn’t be able to go anywhere.
 “Kyle, let go of my hand.” I said, not turning around.
 “Never” he said, and pulled me around to face him. He took my face in his hands, pulling me closer and kissing me passionately. Lost in the moment, I started to kiss him back, and then I realized that soon I would be leaving. Unwillingly I pulled away, ignoring the butterflies in my stomach, my heart rate, everything.
 “Don’t” I said, as walked away.
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 It has been ten years, I haven’t seen amber. I know she probably hates my guts, but even knowing that, I can’t move on. Every girl in those ten years that has come up to me, wanting something that I couldn’t give them anymore, and I refused all of them. When Amber left, she took a part of me with her, whether she knew it or not. I miss her face, I miss her smile, the way she laughed, the way she’d make everyone else happy even when she wasn’t. But all in all I missed her.
----
 I walked down the street in London, not paying attention, on New Year’s Eve. It had been ten years since I left New Jersey. Ten years, since I talked to anyone there, not even James. I walked down that road, thinking about the past, burdened by the pain inside of me. Suddenly out of nowhere I crashed into someone, who obviously was in a hurry, dropping the books out of my hand. I cursed under my breath, it not being my day.
 “I’m so sorry” I heard a voice say, instantly I froze, not believing it was him. Slowly I turned my head upwards, looking into his brown eyes, watching them grow big because of shock. “Amber?” he said, as if he didn’t believe it was me.
 As quickly as I could, I gathered my stuff, and started to walk away once again.
 “Am, Don’t go! Please, not again.” He said, turning me around to face him, to see the look in his eyes, the look of plead, sorrow, hurt.
 “Sorry, but I have to move on and leave you behind” I said to him, choking out those last few words to him.
 “Am, I love you, please, please, I’m begging you, I’ll do anything, please don’t leave me” he said, tears spilling out of his eyes, not caring about who saw them.
 It hurt her to see him like this, to see him so vulnerable. I closed my eyes, letting his words slowly sink in. “I don’t know Kyle, you’ve hurt me too deep this time to be healed by you just saying that you love me.” I told him, meaningfully.
 “Let me prove my love to you, please.” He begged me, beginning to show a hint of hope and smile.
 “And how do you plan on doing that?” I asked, defeated and curious.
 He looked at me dead in the eye, and then turned his back to me. He put his hand around the sides of his mouth, like he was about to scream. In realisation of what he was about to do, I gasped in shock. “Ky-” I started to say, but it was too late.
 “Can I have everyone’s attention please” he screamed on the top of his lungs, on a London street. Strangers turned to look at him, staring at him as if he were a weird person. When he got everyone’s attention, he turned back to look at me. Slowly he got on one knew, and watched my eyes grow in shock.
----
 I half sat there on one knee, completely careless of what I was about to do. Nervousness ran through me like a bolt of lightning, as I watched the most beautiful girl in the world gasp in shock.
 “Amber Jackson, I know we haven’t seen each other for the past ten years, and you still hate my guts but I’m sorry, sorry for everything I’ve done and haven’t done. Ever since you left, you took a part of my soul with you. And without it, I was incomplete. I need you in my life, Amber; I can’t survive the loopholes of life without you.” I said, my hands shaking as I brought them up and held her hand in mine, barely listening to the awe’s of the audience that had gathered around us. “Amber Carly Jackson, will you please do me the honour of marrying me, a stupid fool who should have never left his woman slip away.” I asked, holding her hand tightly, slightly scared at what her answer would be.
----
  I stood there completely shell shocked, not believing what he was doing or why. But I knew one thing, I was completely and utterly in love with him, and my mind couldn’t do anything to control my heart. I heard the entire crowd yelling at me to say ‘yes’ and for once, I listened to my heart before my mind.
 “Yes, Kyle Hanks, I will do you the honour of marrying a stupid fool like you.” I said, unable to hide my happiness. “I love you, and never forget that” I finished off as the countdown began for new years. “five...four...three...two...one...” we all said in sync and right then, Kyle bent down and kissed me full of the lips like there was no tomorrow.

-Sania Sahgal