My Useless Dreams - December 19, 2010

I am dreaming. About my goals. I dream that I have reached them. I dream that everybody counts on me and they just trust me and I have done my duties just fine. But something inside me just tells me that I am waiting my time. The dream world is beautiful, colorful, you are the victor. But I think the voice inside me is right, I am wasting time, I am just dreaming and that won’t make me reach any of them.
Do you know? I am in struggle, I dream about big thing but I do not work well to reach them. This struggle is in my mind. I am dreaming about being an inventor or a university professor that changes everything but I do not work for it. i am dreaming  about being a gentleman but I do not go for it. I am dreaming about being a good writer but I don’t try for it. And at last I am trying to be a good person but I don’t just suffer for it. Maybe I don’t have the real capacity of that. I blame myself for it. Sometimes I think that maybe I do not well enough. But that voice again, I can hear it. Just tell me about the power inside me. Tell me about the sources. Tell me about the thing that I can do. Maybe I should listen to him, as I think better I can see he is right. There is something inside me. Something that I have to let it go. Something that prevents me from doing thing that I want. Something that doesn’t let me go. What do you think I have to do? What I have to do to release this evil inside me. The thing that prevent me from working. The thing that prevents me from trying. Maybe I don’t know it well? What do you think? I see there are more of them. Not one. There are a lot of daemons inside me. How can I get rid of them? Maybe I can’t? But there must be a way. There must be something. Oh, I see…! I think I don’t know them. That is why I can’t get rid of them. I don’t know how I will treat them. Do you have any idea? Do you know them? Let me know them. If you know them please let me.

-M. T.
Thanks for reading.