Chocolate Pie: Chapter one - June 23, 2011

As she walked through the apartment doors, she new everything would change. She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes for a moment before she walked in. And then she opened her eyes, and walked through the door, unsure of what was up ahead.
    She walked up the long spiral stairs, looking around as she did. The stairs creaked slightly as she walked, and the railing was rusted. It was a very old place; victorian. It used to be a boarding house, back in older days.
    When she finally got to the apartment, she hesitated. Then she knocked on her door. The woman that answered had short, bright red hair, and kind, tired brown eyes. She was waring baggy, stripped PJ's, and thick rimmed reading glasses. "Oh, Marcy, I haven't seen you since you were so little!" She hugged her, with a big, tired smile.
    She smiled slightly, looking at her aunt, "Yeah," she laughed slightly, "But, my name's Mary."
    "Oh," Her aunt sighed, putting a hand on her head, and going back inside. Mary followed her, as she swallowed some pills then held her head again. "I'm sorry," she laughed, irony hidden in her laugh. "I don't know what goes through my mind sometimes…"
    "It's fine, really." Mary insisted.
    She half smiled, "Do you remember my name?"
    Mary smiled, "Nina." She confirmed.
    Nina smiled, then took some more pills. "Well, welcome to my humble abode." She smiled, and showed her around the small, dim apartment. When she was done showing her around the apartment, she brought her things into her new room. It was a small room, and longer than wide. It had long windows all along the back and side walls, and a door and closet on the front wall. Her room was empty besides a long bed, and some boxes. She sighed, and plopped down on her bed. She put her hands in her face, and sighed again. She didn't know what was going on anymore. She didn't know who she was anymore. Something in her just didn't feel right, and the worst part was she couldn't even figure out what.
    A few hours later, around midnight, she couldn't get to sleep and decided she needed some air. She slipped past her aunt, sleeping on the coach, but not before putting a blanket over her, and turning the TV off.

    She slowly walked up more old, spiral stairs till she reached the top. There was a large window on the last floor. She looked around to see no one was around, then began to open the window. It creaked, and she had to push really hard to force the old window open. When she finally did, she peaked out, as she put her knees on the edge. Then she noticed an old, black latter on the side of the building. She looked around once more, then began to climb out to the window. She flipped herself around, and climbed onto the latter, then climbed up. When she got to the roof, she sighed, and plopped down on the edge by the latter. Then she looked out at the open sky. The sky was so open; so dark, and never ending. Endless blackness, with only a few small lights sprinkled around it. It was like freedom itself.

    Suddenly, she heard a noise, like a footstep behind her. She quickly turned around. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him. He was sitting at the edge of the roof at the on the opposite side, his legs dangling down from the side. He laid back, staring up at the stars. He must have noticed her staring, because he suddenly looked over, and she quickly looked away. But before she knew it he was coming over and sitting next to her. "Hey." He said. Just one word, but somehow it carried with it such warmth.
    "Hey yourself." She said back, dryly, still looking out at the sky.
    "Never seen you around here before." He said, sitting next to her.
    She sighed, "Yeah, I just moved here."
    He looked at her, "Why?" He said it so nonchalantly. Looking at her with completely honest eyes.
    "Why? Who the hell are you anyway?" She snapped.
    "Oh," He said with a slight laugh, "A feisty one. You know, at these apartments you know what we do with the feisty ones?" He said, smiling in a creepy way this time.
    She raised an eye brow, slightly afraid, "No…"
    "We…" He suddenly grabbed her by the wait and picked her up, her eyes widened and she screamed in protest as he held her over the edge of the roof, "We through them off the roof!"
    "Are you insane!" She screamed, struggling to get free.
    "Yes," He answered with a smile, then added, "And you might want to stop squirming about like that…    you might fall!" And he dropped her for a second then caught her again teasingly, then laughed from the terrified look on her face.
    "Put me down NOW!" She yelled, hitting on the arm.
    "Alright, alright." He said, setting her down, and laughing. 
    "That was NOT funny!" She spat, but he just continued laughing., and she added, crossing her arms, "I could have died!"
    Then suddenly she felt his breath on her neck, and it made her forget what she was mad about. Forget what she was thinking about. Hell, it made her almost forget how to breath herself. "You're cute." He said things so bluntly, but also very honestly. Like the truth and nothing but the truth was so normal. He wasn't embarrassed in the slightest.
    She on the other hand, had her face turn bright red and her heart skip a few beats. "E-excuse me!"
    He laughed, and backed away from her. Then he ran toward the edge of the building. and her eyes widened as he suddenly jumped right off. She dashed over to where he had jumped, screaming. But when she looked down he was on his feat, climbing into a window, she presumed was his bedroom window. He looked up at her with a smile, and solitude at her with a wink then went inside.
    Soon after, she went back to her apartment, wondering about the boy on the roof. She pictured him again in her mind. His shaggy black hair, bangs almost covering his sea blue eyes. She thought of his breath on her neck. Then she stopped herself, remembering she never wanted to be in a relationship with anyone. She sighed, but she was surprised to find a small slip of paper by the door mat of her new apartment.

She picked it up, and found it was a handwritten note. It read:

    Dear roof girl,
Had a great time almost thronging you off the roof. It's cute how you pretend not to be attracted to me,but that's okay, how could you not be? I bet you're wondering how I survived jumping from the roof…    BUT I WON'T TELL YOU HA! A magician never reveals his secrets!
                            From,
                            The Sexy Magician    

    She couldn't help but laugh a little at the note as she read it. Then she wondered how he had time to write this and put it at her door. And how he knew what apartment she just moved into…      He was totally a freak. She thought. Then she held the note to her chest and smiled, and thought with a slight sigh…      Crap. I like him already. This isn't ganna be easy.
 

-Emma

Chocolate Pie: Chapter one - Emma

Date: 06/28/2011

By: Laura

Subject: Friendly Critisisum

You might want to check your spelling over a few times when publishing something, unless you aren't bothered with spelling. Read over your story a few times and get someone else to read it. I find it really helps. Your story is wonderful so far. The mysterious begining had me captured. You might be moving things a little to fast. Slow down and inch the readers into the charaters, let them learn about them, it gets the readers conected to the charaters and the story.
Good luck and hope i've helped not hindered,
Laura

Date: 06/27/2011

By: ...

Subject: CREEPY

CREEPY MAGICIAN! CREEPY MAGICIAN!!!!!

Date: 06/27/2011

By: aimee

Subject: wowowowwow

emma u r goooood! im ready in luv with the sexy magician!!!!

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