Because you aren’t my existence - May 6, 2011

I love you less than more of the rest,
I don’t listen to your talk, your heart, your lioness stride,
…the individual rocks that make you up,
or pay attention to your honey bee’s eyes
I don’t cup you in my hand like cool water
because you don’t refresh me, ernestly
you paralyze me, you bother me-
you know I don’t like you?

I love you less because my heart couldn’t bear to love you more-despite my trying
I don’t listen to your talk, heart, stride, because I’ve known you all my life. And we met last week.
And your individual spirit is just hard to divine, to find, in any number of rocks-too hard to find, innumerable(You are the mud, the diamond, the gravel, brittle glass, asphalt, chalk)
I would die
You don’t refresh me, I’m charred to cinders by one look
I’m paralyzed with fear, you’re a bother to my struck down heart-
You’ve known this whole time how much I hated you. Yet you woun't leave me alone.
 

-Pinquill girl