A memory on the beach - June 29, 2011

I close my eyes, inhale the salty air and exhale silent words. As the sea strikes the shore and snatches the stones, I think of you. I think of your guiltless eyes, that would spark as you widened them, when ever you became excited. I think of your hair like elastic, that bounced in the summer breeze. I think of your caring smile that always had a way of making me feel so blissful, whatever the situation. I smile. I hear your laugh in my mind, I know how much you hated your laugh, but I always loved it. I imagine your voice, like a blessing from the lord himself. I concentrate on your words in my mind. My smile vanishes and so do my thoughts. I open my eyes.
My legs swing in the open air as I drape them over the sandy cliff's edge. I wonder what you'd think if you knew I came here so often. What would you say if you knew I tortured myself everyday, by coming to this same spot and looking out past the infinite, sea just like we used to? Don't think of me as crazy, but I often see you here, but you never seem to see me. When ever I come too close to you, you disappear. It's like you evaporate in the summer heat or something, or it's like you slip  right through the sand. You're always wearing that blue jumper when I see you. You know which one I mean, the one with red paint stain on the back, or should I say 'ladybug red' paint stain, from when we were painting your room. I still apologise for flicking paint at you, and now I guess I should admit that it wasn't an 'accident', I was just angry about the colour you picked, and wanted to prove a point, but you were always so stubborn. It's the one you wore on my birthday, when you took me here, to this exact place. It's my favorite jumper. It's the one you were wearing the day he took you. I say 'took' like its like its nothing. Anyone can 'take' something, it takes someone that's somewhat powerful to do he what he did. He stole you. You could argue that it's selfish of me to think of it like that, but that's how I see it. He stole you from me. It wasn't fare for him to steal you. I need you more than anyone. You kept me sane, and now you're not here, look what's happening! I have it in my head that I've seen you, but I haven't. Of course I haven't. You're gone now and you're never coming back.
 

-Anonymous